Every day I realize how I have changed. Someone, here at the conference I am attending will read a portion of scripture, mention an area, or a wall, or a river, and I perk up, and pay closer attention. "I was there," I say to myself. My mind escapes from the cold room and hard chair, and I am on location once again in the Holy Land. I feel the wind and the heat beating down on me, and think to myself, "Jesus, I know where you were, when you said that. Paul, I know where you were when you wrote that. Luke, I was in the place that happened." In the smugness of my American mindset I think I know something, but in my spirit I know, that I know very little. I say, I'll never deny Him. I say I'll do anything. I believe I am obedient. However, I know as hard as the stones that lay everywhere in Israel serve as a reminder to me, how hard my heart can truly be capable of becoming---but for God. Jesus help me. Holy Spirit please don't take your presence from me. Don't allow me to stand like a stained glass window that only allows only a little light to come into the rooms of my heart. Illuminate me fully, to all that you are. Let your light shine through my life. Allow me to be the light you've called me to be.
Mark 14:50 (NIV)
"Then everyone deserted him and fled."
"Then everyone deserted him and fled."
Everyone forsook Him and fled. I read these words at the garden of Gethsemane I cried. Everyone. The thorn of crowns that grows amongst the olive trees are a sharp reminder of the pain, the crushing, of what Jesus did for me, and not just what was done to Him, but how He felt,--crushed and pierced, to the core of His being. Jesus forsaken by all. Jesus left by all. Have you ever felt that way? Truly alone? Truly crushed to the point that you longed to die, rather than live? Many have and so they close their hearts and minds to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. These thorns weren't small like those on a rosebush here in America, these were as long as my fingers, my hands. I did this to Him. My sin, my choices, my disobedience--that's what He bore.
The only gate of the Old City of Jerusalem, presently closed. So, many hearts and minds are like these gates. Closed to the love and knowledge of what God has done and will do for them. As we come alive to the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ may we be willing to stand with Jesus, and forsake all but Him. May we be willing to endure to the end what He has asked of us, fully open to His will being done on earth as it is in Heaven.
ACTION STEP: As the above Olive Tree stands full of olives yet to be crushed, let us remember we are to bear fruit that others are to take and eat. In order to take in the fruit of the tree, many times there is a process the fruit must go through. I pray we are able to go through the process fully, that we can become all God has called us to be.
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