“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

People that are kind are remembered and revered. We want people that are kind to be our friends, our confidents and our fellow co-workers.  When others are kind we either respond with dis-belief or with kindness ourselves.  It is as though watching and experiencing others kindness ignites the power within us to be kind as well.

A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. - Amelia Earhart

Being kind comes down to putting others ahead of yourself in your heart and in your head. If you want to be kind to others you need to study them and see what they value and care about. Once we know what others care about and value for example by what they spend their time and money on then it’s easier to meet their needs and desires. 

I was once challenged to, “Check yourself and see if your first thought is how can you make others feel more comfortable or what they will think of you?  Do you talk more about yourself or listen to others talk about themselves?”

“You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” – Dale Carnegie
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Another way of putting this is what John Maxwell said, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

John 3:16 (NIV) “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
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This is how much God cared.  Caring cost. Are you willing to pay the price?

Grumpy bumpy is something we’ve all heard or perhaps said.  I think they rhyme for a reason. Smile. If you’re grumpy your life’s journey is probably bumpy too.  My Mother told me, “You win more bees with honey than with vinegar.” Well, I never understood why you want bees.  I think sometimes our parents told us things to get us to be quite and go away---and think about it. I mean when the brain is in gear the mouth usually isn’t.  Now that I am older and I’ve had time to think I realize that bees make honey and that honey is sweet and sweet things go down easier.

My spiritual mother instructed me about the process of bringing correction. She referred to it as the “ACE Sandwich”. This process begins with telling the other person what they do right, then bring the correction then close with what you can affirm.  The good on both sides makes the middle easier to swallow. 

Relationships will be much smoother is we take the responsibility of being friendly and patient. We are all people who make mistakes, have good days and bad and yes are sometimes grumpy.  Another thing I have learned in my short sixty years is, “We should treat the people who will cry the hardest at our funeral better than those who won’t even read the obituary”.  Usually we do the opposite. We treat strangers with more courtesy than those closest to us. 

Action step for today? Try being most kind to those closest to you.

Ephesians 4:32 (KJV) “32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”

The photo used today is of a favorite book I read to my children when they were young. If you have children or grandchildren and don't have this book yet--get it. Great lessons for life. Below is another one.
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While attending West Virginia University in the mid 70’s I remember hearing in my Journalism class, “Don’t fall in love with the sound of your own voice.”  All leaders are brimming with thoughts, but if you want truly innovative ideas, you need to combine your wisdom with the knowledge of your people.

A great idea is nothing more than three or four good ideas put together. And how do you get three or four good ideas? By listening.  We fall in love with the other person and can sit in silence listening to them breath and then we switch and cut them off mid-sentence.  Communication is so important because it is the vehicle that allows us to verbalize what is inside us and enables us to connect with another person. When a person doesn’t value what we say we tend to feel unloved.  When a person hears us out, even if they don’t agree with us we feel valued.

I know we only have 24 hours in a day and that we think we know what the other person is going to say and by finishing their sentences we are saving them time. In actuality we are being rude and selfish. We don’t know what the other person is going to say. It is pride in us that values what we think, feel and want more than the other person.

Relationships work better when we are kind and considerate. Learn to listen. Listening is half of communication.

James 1:19 (NIV) “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”
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Matthew 7:12 (NIV) “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
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 “You can have everything you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want out of life.”- Zig Ziglar
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The concept Zig is talking about is having a heart and life that is focused on serving other people. Life is best lived in service to others.  If we try to out-serve one another we will always have a win-win scenario.  Our society has become a “serve me” society not an “allow me to serve you society”.  We have become a more “What about me and my feelings” than a “What about you and your feelings?”  There are also those in our society that don’t love themselves. It’s difficult to love others when we don’t love our self.

Galatians 5:13-14 (KJV) “For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
 
Service is love in action. When we serve others we are being self-less.  I like to think that there is less of us and more of Christ in us being displayed when we serve.
 
Mark 10:45 "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." 
 
The Son of Man-Jesus came to serve. The greatest man that ever lived-that was both God and man was a servant. Jesus is love. Jesus served. So Love serves.  If you want to show love and receive love start by serving. 

"The more one judges, the less one loves.” —Honoré de Balzac

One of the basics of healthy relationships is to have a common purpose, and to honor one another. Many times this is overlooked and we take one another for granted and do our own thing.  We can think back and say many of the friends you have met through the years you met while working on a common purpose. You may not have agreed with them on everything but working on that common purpose insisted that you honor that other person's thoughts, ideas and way of doing things.

The common bond of purpose is strong enough to bring you together and hold you together as long as you continue to honor the other person. Working together, building together, failing and succeeding together—all while pursuing a common purpose—is what relationships are made of. Find people with whom you have common purposes and sow the seeds of great relationships, and then reap the long-lasting benefits. In order to focus on that common purpose you will find the need to honor the other persons.
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If we judge the other person's heart or motives and find fault with them it will drive a wedge in the relationship.  Dishonoring the other person by cutting them off mid-sentence or shutting down their idea before they’ve shared it is disrespectful and does damage not only to the other person but to the relationship itself.

“The first duty of love is to listen.” —Paul Tillich

1 Peter 2:17 (NIV) “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor”

No one ever said honoring and preferring others would be easy, but God said for us to do it.  When we do difficult things it requires us to depend on God. This will cause us to become more Christ-like.

“The giving of love is an education in itself.” —Eleanor Roosevelt

Want an education? Do things God’s way, you will become very wise.

“Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” —Mother Teresa

The month of February is a month known for love. We all either love Valentine’s Day or hate it depending on where we are in life. This week we are going to take a look at some of the characteristics of real “Love”, today Part 1 will be on “Commitment.”

Most connect love with a feeling. Love can start with a feeling but real love is a commitment.  People say, “I feel in love” or “I feel out of love”.  That isn’t possible.  If it’s something we fall in or out of how is it God is Love. How is it the Word became flesh and dwelt among us? How is it that God so loved the World He gave His only begotten Son to save us all? (John 3:16)

1 Corinthians 13:8-11 (NIV) “8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
 
If Love never fails how can we fall out of love?  The scripture above is telling us it is childish to think that “Love” falls in the same category as other things, even very weighty spiritual things.  This scripture tells us other things will cease but “Love” never ceases. 
 
I heard a friend once say, “Lust turns to Rust”.  This quote is a far cry from, “Love never fails.”  I often tell people in seminars I hold that “Love” and “Lust” look alike in the early stages however one last the test of time the other does not. When true “Love” exists there is a commitment to the other person that supersedes feelings.  The Wedding Vows are a good example for us to look at.  In the Vows we say things such as, “In sickness and in health, good times and bad, in wealth and in times of lack...”  These vows are said before God, friends and family.  Witnesses can remind us when we are pressured to forget when the going gets rough.  Love is public, lust is usually private.
 
Satan likes darkness. He likes secrets. Love is a public commitment and done in the light. 
 
What to remember from today’s Blog? When the lights go out are you still in Love? Are you treating the person whom you love right and honorably? Are you covering your loved one or exposing them and visa versa?

1 Peter 4:8 (NIV) “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
 
Tomorrow Part 2 in our Love Series will be looking at having a Servants Heart. 

Love is much deeper than a feeling. Love is a commitment we make to people to always treat that person right and honorably.–Jim Rohn

The last four days we’ve talked about Heroes. Their attitudes, their tenacity, their actions and their beliefs, and today our last in the series integrity. By definition integrity means the quality of being honest and fair and the state of being complete or whole. Now that’s a hero, someone who doesn’t need anyone of anything to be whole and complete. Someone who can be honest and fair is someone we can follow and emulate. You want a hero? Jesus is the someone we can emulate. Jesus even said those very words, “…come follow me and I will make you…”Matthew 4:19
 
Jesus wants us to receive Him as our Savior. To do just that we must repent and then get to know Him. When you desire to get to know someone you hang out with them.  Spend time with them. Talk to them. Follow them around. In that process you find out a lot about them. In this case you find out that you can trust them to the uttermost.
 
Trust in the Lord requires faith. It is that thing that we do even though we cannot see God. In order to trust the Lord we must first believe that He is. In order to please God we must first believe that He is; we must believe that He is the rewarder of those that diligently seek Him. This is what the writer of Hebrews was talking about when he wrote Hebrews 11:6. He referred back to those heroes of the faith in times past that were rewarded because they believed [trusted] God would do what He said He would do. Today we have the great pleasure of the history that has been recorded in the Bible and we can see that those who trusted the Lord were rewarded. 
 
So at the end of this series we need to ask ourselves are we being changed into the image of the one we are hanging out with?  Is our life the kind of life that can be rewarded? The answer to this will answer the question, “Who is your hero?”

The last three days we’ve talked about Heroes. There attitudes, their tenacity, their actions and today their beliefs.  What we believe matters.  If we believe people are basically good then we expect good from people.  If we believe that people are basically evil then we receive evil.  Most of us would agree. However, beliefs can be formed around wrong information due to wrong experiences. Belief is reality for those that believe a thing to be true to them it is. People rehearse things that are not true.  Just because a thing is rehearsed does not make it true. I’ve always heard practice makes perfect. When I grew up I learned practice does not make perfect it makes it permanent.  Practice the wrong thing over and over again and it will still be wrong.

Want to make sure what you believe is true? Then read the Bible. The Bible is truth. The more we know truth the less we will believe a lie.  People who can detect counterfeits do not study counterfeits they study originals. Determine to operate in the truth you know and God will help us in the areas we don’t know.

Jesus said “… I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) 
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Jesus is truth and Jesus is also the Word (John 1:1, 14).

The last two days we’ve talked about Heroes. Why do we want to be like them? What attitude makes our heroes our heroes? Check the past two articles to catch up with us. Today our subject is disciplines. Heroes don’t become heroes by accident.  They have disciplined their mind or their bodies or their time or a combination of these or other habits that were perhaps easy to do, as well as easy not to do. Heroes chose to do their homework.

T.D Jakes, Jim Rohn, Darren Hardy, Jeff Gordon, Gallen Rupp, Lysa TerKeurst, and Adele, all have one thing in common.  That one thing is hard work and tenacity and they love what they do.

Proverbs 5:3-5 (NIV) And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

When you have a reason for why you do what you do and that reason is full of passion, you will have perseverance.  The longer you pursue your passion without throwing in your towel the more your character will be proven; good or bad. When you work for something with all your heart mind and soul you begin to hope that it will pay off and most likely payoff it will. 

It’s okay to have heroes but it’s not okay to live life through them. The purpose of heroes is to inspire us and to learn from them.  When I listen to the above mentioned picks I hear a lot of the same things such as, “I didn’t start out like this,” “I didn’t have any spare time,” “Most days it wasn’t easy.”
Jesus didn’t say life would be easy. This is what He did say, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
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The world and all that is in it including our bodies was all made from what never existed in the same form as it did after God touched it. In other words God changes things. He changes things when He touches it.  You want to be a real hero? Hebrews 11 is full of them.  Allow God to touch you.  Read His word and find out how countless lives were changed after an encounter with the greatest hero that ever lived.

In yesterday’s Blog we talked about how when we have a Hero we follow them in our actions and in our behavior. Today what about how our Heroes affect our attitudes?

Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV); "For as a man thinks in his heart, so he is..."

If I have the attitude that the world is against me and I truly believe that, then that is the kind of world I will live in; a world that is against me.  We drawl to us like a magnet what we expect.  If we expect the people around us to reject us, then the people around us will reject us.  What’s inside us will come out just like a Jack in the Box if someone cranks our handle. What we believe on the inside will show up on the outside.

Matthew 15:17-20 (NKJV) “17 “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body?18 But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.20 These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”
 
People tend to find what they are looking for. Hang out with people who are looking for the good in others. Make your Heroes those men and women who renew their minds daily by reading God’s word. Choose to meditate on things that are beneficial.

Philippians 4:8 (KJV) “8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
 
I'm reminded of an old song about Cowboys. If you're Heroes are Cowboys be careful what you lasso. See what you try to lasso you might just get.