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Finishing well requires the fruit of the Spirit, Self-Control.

10/17/2019

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Yesterday, I shared with you about Samson. But today, there are many that have fallen like Samson because they relied on their strength in the natural rather than to be led by the Spirit, and exercising the Fruit of the Spirit-Self-Control.

Here is just a small list:


- Jason Kidd basketball star admitted to beating his wife.
- Shawn Kemp has 7 children by 5 different women.
- Warren Moon football great admitted to beating his wife, later divorced.
- Ray Lewis all star linebacker involved in triple homicide.
- Charles Barkley throws a man out of a bar room window.
- Randy Moss, drove his car at a police officer dragging her a hundred feet.

Today, as in the days gone by the battle is real and extremely costly. It is not enough to start out well, we must finish well.
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However, we can also find those that finish well. They deny the flesh because they love God. Let's look at Joseph.

Joseph who has something different, self-control. The son of Jacob, the father of the Israelite nation, he lived long before Sampson.  He was sold into Egyptian slavery by his brothers.

Once there, things turned out okay for Joseph, because God blessed him. His master, Potiphar, noticed that everything Joseph was in charge of prospered under his diligent care. So, Potiphar put him in charge of everything, and turning the administration of his entire household over to Joseph. All Potiphar had to worry about was eating three meals a day, Joseph did everything else.

Now, Joseph is noted in the Bible as a strikingly handsome man. Potiphar’s wife took notice of Joseph. She became infatuated with him. So, she found a moment when they could be alone and she says, "come to bed with me!"

She just bypasses the coy approach and goes for direct approach. The Bible summarized Joseph’s response in three words---"But he refused."

That’s it. He said, "No."  He has this woman throw herself at him and he said,
"No, I won’t do it. I won’t sin against God, and I won’t violate my master’s trust."

Eventually the seduction increased in intensity, she physically grabbed him and he fled.

Now, compare this response to Sampson’s and ask yourself about the difference character makes. Sampson’s body was so in control of his spirit that he went looking for sexual trouble. Sexual trouble comes knocking uninvited at Joseph’s door, and yet he resists. God blesses him for it, though in the short term, it hurts him and lnds him in jail.

Joseph is a man of self control in the little things, he controlled his anger at being sold into slavery, he disciplined his life into a controlled regimen so he could be perfectly trusted, and when the real test comes, you know he’s going to pass because he’s brought his passions under control in the little things.

With Sampson, you know he’s going to fail the test because his given is passions free reign in the little things. He meets a prostitute, you know he’s going to sleep with her. He meets a treacherous woman, you know he’s going to spill the beans.
And at the end of the day, Sampson has some short term pleasures and some long term pain. He died with his eye’s gouged out in disgrace. Joseph became 2nd in command of all of Egypt.
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ACTION STEP: Finish well. Regardless, of what satan tempts you with, there is a way of escape in Christ Jesus and the Fruit of the Spirit. Practice self-denial in the little things. Build the strength of character through the power of the Holy Spirit. Our brothers and sisters may need us in the future. Will we be in position to help? We will if we obey God fully.
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Learning self-control can cost us everything.

10/16/2019

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The fruit of the spirit shows itself in many facets. Learning self control is about how your spirit learns to rule your body, your passions, your hungers and your appetites.

For an example of self-control let's use Sampson. Sampson was born during a time when the Jews had no king and everyone did what was right in their own eyes. Without a king to hold them accountable, they needed their own strong moral sense, the fruit of the spirit-self-control and character so, they would hold THEMSELVES accountable.

But that didn’t happen. There was a lot of freedom and no responsibility. So God allowed that nation to be ruled by the cruel Philistines for 40 years. After that period of discipline, God had a plan to rescue his people. Thank God for His great grace.

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Without the gift and practice of self-control we are at the mercy of our sinful hearts, our potent drives, our fickle feelings.  Self-control is not some sort of bad news set alongside the good news of grace.  Self-control is grace, grace kneaded into our lives.  Through His gift of self-control the Holy Spirit makes all the wonderful facets of love—joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and generosity—possible.  Self-control is the human soil where the gift of grace grows and blossoms into the full flower of love. 
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God sent an angel to a childless couple to tell them that they would have a baby the following year and this baby must be treated special. No strong drink, no fancy or harmful foods. He must be totally dedicated to God, no razor on his head and the result would be, Sampson who have amazing physical strength and would become a national deliverer, as an invincible warrior.

After he grows up, we find him traveling, and he sees a beautiful woman who was a Philistine. Sampson knows God has forbidden the Jews from marrying foreign spouses, so their hearts would not be lured away from devotion to the one true God. His parents plead with him to not do it. But Sampson says: "She’s the one I want, go get her for me."

In other words, I want what I want and I wants it now! No waiting, no control of my sexual desire, or my desire for marriage. I want instant gratification because I have a craving I cannot , and I will not deny it.

When the Bible talks about self-control it uses a word that means to "rule the appetites of your body." The great irony in Sampson’s life is that the very body that God wanted Sampson to harness, and use to deliver his people, eventually was too strong for Sampson himself, and became the death of him.

He went ahead and married that Philistine woman and at the wedding reception he presented all the Philistine wedding guests with a riddle and a bet. If they could guess the riddle, he would pay 30 garments, if they couldn’t, they would pay Sampson 30 garments. At first no one could guess the riddle, so someone blackmailed Sampson’s fiancé to get it out of him.

Sampson hadn’t told anyone the riddle, not his bride to be, or his mother or father. Probably because he didn’t trust his new Philistine in-laws because they didn’t fear God, and they didn’t have rules like the Jews did about telling the truth, and keeping promises, and against bribery.

So, he tried to keep it from her. But she manipulated and cajoled, and through tears and fits and nagging, finally she coxed Sampson to give up his secret.

Friends, I want you to observe Sampson’s downward spiral, that all comes from a lack of self control. He couldn’t control his sexual desire and was marrying a woman he shouldn’t marry, and now he couldn’t control his tongue, and keep a secret.

So, he told his wife and she told the others, and Sampson lost the bet. The next day, he exacts vengeance on the Philistines by destroying all their crops. You see any self control there? They in turn kill his bride and her family, and start a war with the Jews to get Sampson. But, Sampson overpowers a whole company of Philistine soldiers because of his amazing strength.

See, his physical ability bails him out, but does he learn to control his body? No. He continues his downward spiral, next we see him hooking up 20 years later with a prostitute in the land of the Philistines. His body is still not under his control, it rules him. And it would have killed him, but again he escapes ambush because of his great strength.

Next, we see him fall in love with another Philistine woman, Delilah. Again his sexual passions overcome his better judgement, this is not good marrying material. She’s an easy target for blackmail. Sampson again without any verbal self control, tells her the secret of his strength, his long uncut hair.

With that, Delilah betrays him for money as she cuts his hair in his sleep, and he’s made a slave to the Philistines who pluck out his eyes, and make sport of him in their temple.

Friend, this is how a lack of self control works. We let our passions and appetites rule in a little area, and then we cannot take back that control in another area, where the cost is even greater. Until you can say no to everything and everyone but God, you’re helpless and led around by your appetites which will lead you by the nose ring you won't admit you allowed satan to put there.

Judges 16:28
And Samson called unto the LORD, and said, O Lord GOD, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray thee, only this once, O God, that I may be at once avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes.
ACTION STEP: Learn to rely on God and deny the flesh. Remember that one sin leads to another, and then another. Sin always demands an increase. Listen to your parents or those over you in the Lord. Fulfill the purpose for which you were born!
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Self-Control or Sexually out of control?

10/15/2019

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One of the areas it is most difficult to have the Fruit of the Spirit-Self-Control manifesting in our lives, is in the area of sex. Our culture is a sex driven culture. Everywhere we look there are ads, TV shows, commercials, music, etc. that set our minds on the wrong course of action. Once we have a thought it is easier to take an action. This is why it is so important to fill our minds with the truth of God's word concerning sexual behavior. The word of God is clear on this subject. Most people know what the Bible says, but choose rather to do as they please. Pleasing our flesh rather than God can be very costly. 
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Beware of rationalizing excuses:
​

1. “I can handle this!” But you have fallen into the trap many times before.
Heed 2 Tim. 2:22 "
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

2
. “I deserve this happiness and God wants me happy.” No, God wants you holy! Holiness brings happiness. 
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ACTION STEP:  Get Help in these three areas:

Accountability. Get someone to hold you accountable.
Counsel with a person of wisdom.
Identify the bait Satan uses to easily trap you and set up perimeters or boundaries.

Conclusion: Remember this is not self-discipline but self control. They look similar but are not the same. Self-control’s goal is to love the Lord more than anything or anyone else.


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Overspending is a spiritual problem.

10/14/2019

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Overspending is a spiritual problem. It causes many marital problems. In order to have self-control we need to discover the spiritual root and ask the Lord for help. It could be we spend to satisfy a need that God wants to satisfy. Some people go shopping to cope with stress. That’s okay if it is within your budget but not okay if you are trying to use it as a coping mechanism, or something deeper within.

High incomes are not immune! Many with high incomes have higher debt and credit cards that are maxed out so they live paycheck to paycheck.

The root of overspending is selfishness.  For some overspending is due to a feeling of being deprived of something or loneliness. Overspending could be a way of compensating for a lack of intimacy in marriage. It temporarily fills a void where boredom or sadness exists. A person tries fill that void with materialism.

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Overspending equals stress, debt, and frustration. The average credit card is $8,000. If we paid the minimum it would take us 24 years to pay it off. Many lose heart and file bankruptcy.
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ACTION STEP: 
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1. Have a Biblical plan. Get advice and accountability. Pray and ask God to help you discover why you do what you do. Then ask Him to deliver you or heal you.
2. Establish priorities. God first! This is the outside indicator of whether or not you really trust God.

Do you believe God or do you just believe in God? Your spending will reveal the truth.
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World’s smallest but largest troublemaker!

10/11/2019

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If you have the Holy Spirit in you, then you feel that little tinge in you when you say things about other people that you shouldn’t. Gossip words spread quickly. The tongue “setteth on fire the course of nature”.  Gossip is a two way problem. The one who tells gossip and the one who listens to it, both have a problem! The Fruit of the Spirit Self-Control comes from loving God and what He loves more than what we love, not merely from self-discipline. The tongue will expose what's in our heart.
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Psalm 141:3 (NIV) 
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Set a guard over my mouth, Lord;
    keep watch over the door of my lips.
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ACTION STEP: Ask God to put a guard over your lips. Read the scriptures about the tongue. Practice silence and waiting a while before giving an answer.
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Self-control or self-discipline? Are they the same?

10/10/2019

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I want to open up today with a story that illustrates the difference between self-discipline and the fruit of the Spirit, Self-Control.

​Two men walking through the airport and notice a magazine rack of porno in gift shop. Both men are Christians and they both feel the urge to look at those magazines. One man doesn’t go look at the magazines because he is exercising self-discipline; the other doesn’t go look because he is exercising self-control. In both cases they walk past the temptation. The self-disciplined guy says, “This is something I should not do, so I won’t do it. The Self-control guy says, “Even though part of me wants to see this I won’t because I know it would grieve God, and I love Him so I won’t.
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Here is another way to say what I shared in the illustration above:

I don’t feel like reading the Bible, but out of duty I do it anyway. This does not deal with the root of my struggle. I need to find out, why reading the Word of God is like duty, rather than desire. Self Control says my aim is to please God. So, I must find out why I don’t feel like reading the Word of God, because that pleases God. I will run out of discipline because it is after a goal. When a goal can't be reached most quit striving.

I have listed below some indicators (fruits) of self-control. Some areas of self-control give us more problems than others. The tongue, anger, spending money and sex are four areas that many struggle with having self-control. The real problem (the root) is we love ourself and want to please self, more than we want to please God. So, the main problem is not self-control it is our lack of love for our Creator and Savior.
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Let's look at Anger today and then we will continue to look at the other areas that give most of us problems in the area of self-control. There are
3 types anger and we will look at each one.

1. Sudden anger can be controlled:
Are you quick tempered? Known for a temper? Will Rogers said, “People who fly into a rage seldom make a good landing!”
Proverbs 14:17 “He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly.” = God calls this person a fool. Slow down! James 1:19-20.
Anger causes physiological changes in body that are harmful to your health: Heart faster, blood pressure, mouth dry, trembling. I personally notice when I have been angry for a time or lost my temper that many times a day or two later I become sick! It weakens immune system.

2. Sinful anger must be condemned. What is sinful anger?
1. Anger w/o a cause. Matthew 5:22
2. When you hate someone, we are hating what God loves. We are to love people and hate sin.
3. You desire revenge. Rom. 12:19 tells us vengeance is mine
4. You will not forgive someone.
Proverbs 19:11 “The discretion of a man defers his anger.” A man of discretion analyzes “Why am I angry?” What is it that makes me so angry?

3. Stubborn anger is to be conquered. Eph. 4:26 “Be ye angry and sin not, let not the sun go down upon your wrath; neither give place to the devil.”  Some people live with anger for 10 or more years. This is stubborn anger.

The devil will take any place you give him in your soul and grow a stronghold in your mind, will, or emotions.

Note the order how anger will get out of control:

First: Bitterness – someone offends you. If you don’t pull up roots of bitterness it defiles your soul (Hebrews 12:15). We must learn to forgive without expecting any apology or the devil will trap us.

Second: Bitterness turns to wrath. The Greek word means “to burn” or smolder. You continue to dwell on the offense or hurt, so in essence we are hot under the collar.

Third: Wrath turns to anger on the outside and is manifested in our face, and our voice, as well as our body language.

Fourth: Anger turns to clamor which is loud speech. Illustration: You are having an argument with your husband. The husband says, “You don’t have to shout.” You say, “I’M NOT SHOUTING!”(In an obvious shouting tone!)

Fifth: Clamor is to speak evil and say cruel things you don’t mean. At this point the Tea kettle is spewing steam everywhere and that can not be taken back. like steam the words are already released into the ear.

Sixth: Evil speaking turns to malice with an intent, desire to hurt, kill, murder.

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ACTION STEP: How do I get self-control over my anger?

1. Recognize it. “I have a problem.” Accept responsibility and stop blaming everyone else for making you angry. No one can make you angry. You and I chose to be angry.

2. Repent of it to the Lord and ask forgiveness from God and other. “Show fruit of repentance”  What is your plan to overcome getting angry? Try harder? No! If you repent you will establish a plan of attack, get help, do some soul searching.

3. Renounce it remember according to scripture you gave the devil a place in your life. Confess it as sin and ask God to take back the ground you surrendered to the devil. Tell the devil you refuse to allow him to use you to hurt others or yourself.

4. Rely on Holy Spirit. You will have to pray more through out your day asking for help in your weakness. Pray for the Lord to show you the source of the real root that manifests anger in you. Trauma as a child? Rejection? Abandonment? What hurt gets opened in you, that triggers anger? Allow God to heal that area. The Holy Spirit will help you. Just ask.

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Self-Control or Self-Destruct? Add faith and live  a Spirit controlled life.

10/9/2019

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1 Peter 1:5-8
For this very reason, applying your diligence [to the divine promises,
make every effort] in [exercising] your faith to, develop moral excellence,
and in moral excellence, knowledge (insight, understanding), and in your knowledge, self-control,
and in your self-control, steadfastness, and in your steadfastness, godliness, 
and in your godliness, brotherly affection, and in your brotherly affection,
[develop Christian] love
[that is, learn to unselfishly seek the best for others and to do things for their benefit]. 
For as these qualities are yours and are increasing
[in you as you grow toward spiritual maturity],
​they will keep you from being useless and unproductive in regard to the true knowledge and greater understanding of our Lord Jesus Christ.
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Faith is to a Christian what gasoline is to a car.

Gasoline is necessary to run engine. That’s not all you need; air supply, vacuum hoses draw air, oil, or won’t go very far. The Christian faith too must have some other additives or you won’t make much progress.

Someone says, “I believe all I need is to believe in God.” True if you on your deathbed! But, if you plan on living here for a while, you will need much more than faith or else you become very frustrated trying to live Christian life.

The scripture above tells us to diligently add to our faith several things. Why? So, we can be fruitful and functional. 

We all know too many dysfunctional Christians! We know people who will not come to Christ, because they know too many dysfunctional Christians. Today, it is hard to tell the difference between the “Saint’s and the Ain’ts”. They talk same, and act same.

We are all in the process of sanctification, once we have been born again. We grow in Christ and reach New levels of living. It begins with faith ends with love.

From faith we grow into virtuous or holy living. We want to please God; He is our number one motivation for all we do. Only out of our holy living, will come more first hand experiences with God called knowledge. Now, we know God, not by second hand teaching, but first hand experiences.

From knowledge we will grow in self-control. Because the more we experience God, the more of His grace we will experience. We need this to instill holy habits in ourselves, so we are able to follow hard after Him. 
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We change our inside and the outside changes. The more Word inside of us, leads to more self-control manifested through our lives. We no longer take the course of least resistance. The reason a river is so crooked, is because it takes the path of least resistance. This is a picture of a life with no restraint. We can have the power to do something, but can we do what is right?
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ACTIN STEP: ​Get the Word in you, so you can live a life in the Spirit.
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A huge misconception.

10/8/2019

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I am having one of those times in my life when what I prayed for, I got and it doesn't feel like what I thought it would. All my life I wanted to grow up and travel the world-- as a news reporter. My Dad said, I'd be good at it. My uncles encouraged me, as they told me I had a great smile. They used to joke and call me Ms. America though I am way to short to even qualify. So, off to college I went to major in communications and journalism, only to meet my husband my junior year. He was not interested in my chosen career. We laugh about it now as I travel around the world telling the "Good News" of Jesus Christ. We even have a TV program. God certainly has a sense of humor.

I could see myself doing this job and I am so glad I have the calling I have. I don't mean to complain. Lots of people would probably love doing what I do, but it's a lot harder than it looks. I need to pack at a minimum of three different suit cases for three different locations. Recently, I was in seven countries within forty five days. I am blessed. My children are grown and I mostly travel with my husband when abroad. When traveling nationally, I am blessed in that God has given me with a great assistant. Nevertheless, it is hard work and takes a lot of planning and preparations, muscles, patience, good endurance and great faith. Did I mention patience? Yeah, airports, local food, limited bathrooms, water issues--yeah, patience. This thing I prayed for is hard on my person. My flesh dies daily. Terrible living conditions, hazardous driving conditions, nonexistent shower and toilet facilities. No WiFi! No Starbucks...I know not even WaWa. Thank God for natives that do their best to find you safe food to eat and a clean, (well almost) bed to sleep in. This is how the rest of the world lives. I come home and am so grateful for what I have. So, I take them Jesus, because He can change everything for the better.
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Just packing toiletries and vitamins took me a full day and half. Then, for out of the country trips I take food and bug spray, as well as medical supplies and books. Your suitcase can only weigh fifty pounds. I am glad my clothes are little or I'd be in big trouble. My bible, laptop, notes and reading materials fill my carry on. Glamorous? No. Rewarding? Yes. I got what I prayed for. I just didn't think it would look like it does. Somehow, I thought it would be easier. 
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Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
ACTION STEP: Remember what you told God? Remember what you asked Him for? When God answers prayers it may not look like what we thought. I am learning new things about God and myself everyday. I am being stretched and refuse to be stressed. I can and will do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and He will strengthen you too. Trust Him. He is a big God and He is for us not against us. Now, let's do this thang!
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Two questions we must ask.

10/7/2019

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Two questions we must ask ourselves, "Who am I?" and "What is my purpose?" These two questions lead us to many more questions such as, "Where did I come from?" and "Where am I going?" People have been searching for answers to these questions since man was created. We only find the answers to those questions from the one who created us. The creator knows why He created something or in this case someone.
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Genesis 1:27
So God created man in His 
own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
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If you or I want to find out who we are and who God is we must read our Bibles. The book of Colossians will help with these questions. The Book of Ephesians, the first two chapters will also tell you who you are. When you know who you are, you can be who you are. Who you are comes with some rights and privileges. When we find out who we are we also find out, who we are not! Finding our who we are not is just as important as who we are. Sometimes, it brings healing and other times it restores confidence and sometimes even a refreshing. We can embrace the day rather than dread the day.
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ACTION STEP: Read the Book of Colossians it is only four chapters. It is a very small book, but very important for us to know. You are a child of God. You have a purpose. You have a father in heaven who loves you and desires to give you a future and a hope. You do not have to be bound by past mistakes and failures. You can start today to be who you were created to be. You are no longer a slave to past mistakes and carnal desires. The selfishness will turn into selflessness when we give ourselves to God. Read Romans 10:9-10 and seal the deal today of who you belong to and what God has in store for you. Then go share what you know with someone else. Be a witness for the Lord.
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Two Destinations~One Choice.

10/4/2019

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John 14:1-3
“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.”
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We see from the scripture above that Heaven is a real place. This real place is our Eternal Home that Christ is preparing for us who accept Him as our Redeemer. Read Romans 10:19-10. When we accept Him, we become His child. Read Ephesians chapters 1 & 2 to find out what that means.

We also learn that hell is a place of eternal torment. In Luke 16:24, we read a story Jesus told of a man’s experience in hell and his cry for relief from the flames around him, but there was no relief.
 
Once death claims a person, there is no second chance to change an eternity. The destination is final.

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ACTION STEP: Today is not a long Blog but very weighty one. Two destinations. One decision. Have you made the decision where you will spend Eternity. Eternity is real. I don't usually do this, in fact I never have. However, I want to invite you to hear the message I will be sharing October 5th in Monongahela, PA and October 6th in Morgantown, WV. See our web site for times and directions. Make a decision, because no decision, is a decision.
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    Rena Perozich is a wife, mother, nonna, mentor, author, and encourager. Her life's purpose is to become all God has called her to be and to encourage others to do the same. Learn more. 

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