Genesis 1:26
“then God said, 'Let Us make (asah) humans in Our image, according to Our likeness'
“then God said, 'Let Us make (asah) humans in Our image, according to Our likeness'
Sadly there are no short cuts when you’ve experienced neglect. The road to reconnection with your self can be painstaking. The start is to acknowledge, things aren’t ok as they are right now. This can be the catalyst for change.
Then you can begin a process of reclaiming your life story for you. You may need to relearn a language for your feelings and experiences on your own terms, rather than others’. You might also need to rediscover how to like and love yourself for who you really are, taking care of your feelings and needs with equal value alongside those you care for. A trusted therapist can really help with this process.
Reading Running on Empty is also a great start. It may help you make sense of what has been a background feeling, a hint of something not being right or it might shout out at you, ‘this is me.’
Whatever your next step, perhaps the kindest thing you can do, is to acknowledge that your experience of neglect was real for you. And that’s when the healing can begin.
Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Dr Jonnice Webb, published by Morgan James Publishing (1 October, 2012)
If the video does not show up below click here or view in your Browser: https://youtu.be/bF3j5UVCSCA
Then you can begin a process of reclaiming your life story for you. You may need to relearn a language for your feelings and experiences on your own terms, rather than others’. You might also need to rediscover how to like and love yourself for who you really are, taking care of your feelings and needs with equal value alongside those you care for. A trusted therapist can really help with this process.
Reading Running on Empty is also a great start. It may help you make sense of what has been a background feeling, a hint of something not being right or it might shout out at you, ‘this is me.’
Whatever your next step, perhaps the kindest thing you can do, is to acknowledge that your experience of neglect was real for you. And that’s when the healing can begin.
Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Dr Jonnice Webb, published by Morgan James Publishing (1 October, 2012)
If the video does not show up below click here or view in your Browser: https://youtu.be/bF3j5UVCSCA
ACTION STEP: Brain circuitry runs on well-worn pathways, and while brains at all ages are capable of change, the thinking and feeling neuropathways created at a young age tend to become our default throughout life. Once our brains are trained to think either “I mess up sometimes, but I’m a valuable person” or “I am bad because something is wrong with me,” changing our thinking can be really difficult. Start today anyway. Spend at least twelve minutes in the word of God and fifteen minutes a day saying out-loud what God says about you. Make a list of affirmations. Affirmations make us firm. Remind yourself you are created in God's image.
The key to healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect and chronic shame is through working towards breaking the cycle of having shame about feeling shame. Primarily, this is done through emotional validation instead of emotional neglect.
Typically, when we grow up with caregivers neglecting our emotional needs, we learn to neglect our own emotional needs. Change comes when we begin to name our emotional needs, get them care (like through therapy), and start practicing our own ability to honor our emotions and advocate to get our emotional needs met.
Healing from shame can be a long process. It involves learning to be vulnerable to show our emotional needs (to ourselves, our therapist, and eventually with our relationships) and risking vulnerability in hopes of getting the good care that was missing in childhood. A person healing from chronic shame needs to experience more than a cognitive connection with others.
Recovering from chronic shame requires many experiences, over an extended period, of expressing needs and receiving, in response, a sense of being held, being cared for, being loved, and being seen.
We can't change what was, but we can change what is.
I believe in you and you need to believe in yourself!
The key to healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect and chronic shame is through working towards breaking the cycle of having shame about feeling shame. Primarily, this is done through emotional validation instead of emotional neglect.
Typically, when we grow up with caregivers neglecting our emotional needs, we learn to neglect our own emotional needs. Change comes when we begin to name our emotional needs, get them care (like through therapy), and start practicing our own ability to honor our emotions and advocate to get our emotional needs met.
Healing from shame can be a long process. It involves learning to be vulnerable to show our emotional needs (to ourselves, our therapist, and eventually with our relationships) and risking vulnerability in hopes of getting the good care that was missing in childhood. A person healing from chronic shame needs to experience more than a cognitive connection with others.
Recovering from chronic shame requires many experiences, over an extended period, of expressing needs and receiving, in response, a sense of being held, being cared for, being loved, and being seen.
We can't change what was, but we can change what is.
I believe in you and you need to believe in yourself!
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