Apart from nurturing a vital and growing relationship with Jesus Christ the most critical issue is the 6thSeed to building strong families: In a healthy home people have learned how to listen, ask questions and nurture quality communication.
As goes the communication so goes the relationship. Without communication there is no relationship. Of course this principle applies to all of our relationships: parent and child, brother and sister, pastor and congregation, employer and employee as well as friend and friend.
A ten-year study revealed that happily married couples differ from unhappily married couples in that they talk more to each other, convey feelings that they understand what is being said to them, have a wider range of subjects available to them, preserve communication channels and keep them open, show more sensitivity to each others feelings and realize the importance of nonverbal aspects of communication.
As goes the communication so goes the relationship. Without communication there is no relationship. Of course this principle applies to all of our relationships: parent and child, brother and sister, pastor and congregation, employer and employee as well as friend and friend.
A ten-year study revealed that happily married couples differ from unhappily married couples in that they talk more to each other, convey feelings that they understand what is being said to them, have a wider range of subjects available to them, preserve communication channels and keep them open, show more sensitivity to each others feelings and realize the importance of nonverbal aspects of communication.
Dr. Albert Mehrabian spent years studying the components of communication. He found that often the actual words we say only account for 7% of how someone interprets our message. Our tone of voice accounts for 38% and other non-verbals such as body posture, gestures, eye contact and facial expressions account for 55%.
Most people focus on the 7% and often ignore the other 93%. When one of these components contradicts the other a mixed-message is sent. Confusion and frustration replaces clear communication.
Purpose in your heart to pursue excellence in listening. Most people don’t understand that one of the most important aspects of quality communication is listening. That’s right! Quality communication involves much more than talking.
One writer stated that most conversations are dialogues of the deaf.
Ecclesiastes 3:7 states that there is a time to keep silent and Proverbs 10:14 tells us that only a fool ignores that fact. Proverbs 21:11 says, “The wise man learns by listening.” In Proverbs 18:13 we read, “What a shame–yet, how stupid!–to decide before knowing the facts.”
Most people focus on the 7% and often ignore the other 93%. When one of these components contradicts the other a mixed-message is sent. Confusion and frustration replaces clear communication.
Purpose in your heart to pursue excellence in listening. Most people don’t understand that one of the most important aspects of quality communication is listening. That’s right! Quality communication involves much more than talking.
One writer stated that most conversations are dialogues of the deaf.
Ecclesiastes 3:7 states that there is a time to keep silent and Proverbs 10:14 tells us that only a fool ignores that fact. Proverbs 21:11 says, “The wise man learns by listening.” In Proverbs 18:13 we read, “What a shame–yet, how stupid!–to decide before knowing the facts.”
David Augsburger writes, “Love is listening. Love is the opening of your life to another. Through sincere interest, simple attention, sensitive listening, compassionate understanding and honest sharing . . . an open ear is the only believable sign of an open heart. You learn to understand life–you learn to live–as you learn to listen.”
Make your number one objective to understand the other person. Studies have shown that most people can listen five times as fast as someone can speak. This means that during a conversation it is easy for our minds to wander. If it’s an important conversation take some notes. Learn to ask questions that clarify the issue. Cultivate the ability to restate the person’s message in your own words.
Small talk isn’t always insignificant talk. There are some whose first question is “What’s the bottom line?” Only focusing on the bottom line makes about as much sense as looking only at the last sentence of a love-letter, watching the last 10 minutes of a movie or arriving at church to hear only the last five minutes of the pastor’s message.
God loves you. He sent His only begotten Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross and save you from your sins. God designed you to be in relationship with Himself and with others. He tells us that without communication there is no relationship.
From the beginning of time God has made time in His busy schedule to communicate with us. For centuries He has carefully protected His infallible written communication to us. God repeatedly asks us to make time to communicate with him. He has promised to make time to listen to us. Day or night He is there wanting us to talk with Him and waiting for us to listen to Him. If communication is that important to God it makes sense that it needs to be equally important to us.
Make your number one objective to understand the other person. Studies have shown that most people can listen five times as fast as someone can speak. This means that during a conversation it is easy for our minds to wander. If it’s an important conversation take some notes. Learn to ask questions that clarify the issue. Cultivate the ability to restate the person’s message in your own words.
Small talk isn’t always insignificant talk. There are some whose first question is “What’s the bottom line?” Only focusing on the bottom line makes about as much sense as looking only at the last sentence of a love-letter, watching the last 10 minutes of a movie or arriving at church to hear only the last five minutes of the pastor’s message.
God loves you. He sent His only begotten Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross and save you from your sins. God designed you to be in relationship with Himself and with others. He tells us that without communication there is no relationship.
From the beginning of time God has made time in His busy schedule to communicate with us. For centuries He has carefully protected His infallible written communication to us. God repeatedly asks us to make time to communicate with him. He has promised to make time to listen to us. Day or night He is there wanting us to talk with Him and waiting for us to listen to Him. If communication is that important to God it makes sense that it needs to be equally important to us.
| ACTION STEPS: Use the 7 C's listed here when communicating. Remember that God is a God that desires to communicate with us. He walked and talked with Adam in the garden. He desires to have us with Him for eternity. So when we are talking with others lets do our best to be good listeners that really take to heart what they are trying to communicate. One way love is shown is by listening. | According to the 7 Cs, communication needs to be:
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