“Complaining is focusing on what we don’t want.” Will Bowen
Spend a few minutes and turn on this You Tube Video and listen as Will Bowen shares fifteen minutes about being "Complaint Free". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b8KTLzo5-0 .
Then read the following excerpt from Will Bowen and find out what stage you are currently and then aim to get to stage four in the being "Complaint Free" area of life.
Then read the following excerpt from Will Bowen and find out what stage you are currently and then aim to get to stage four in the being "Complaint Free" area of life.
Shutting Down the Complaint Factory
There are four stages to building competence in any area, notes Bowen. “In becoming a complaint-free person, you will go through each of them and, sorry, you can’t skip steps.”
The first stage is Unconscious Incompetence, in which we aren’t even aware of the change we need to make or the skill we lack. Basically, we have no idea about how often we complain. Bowen notes that, ironically, many of the purple-bracelet requests he receives come from people in this stage. “Please send me purple bracelets right away,” they write. “Everybody I know complains all the time.”
This stage is followed by Conscious Incompetence, in which we become uncomfortably aware (conscious) of just how often we complain (are incompetent). And, trust me, it’s a lot more often than you think. I consider myself a pretty positive person, and I was shocked at just how much I complained during the first several days of the Challenge. Most people give up during this phase because they feel overwhelmed, writes Bowen. He counsels readers to remember that failing is inevitable at first, but it will get easier, and the payoff is worth the effort.
The next stage is Conscious Competence. Here, Bowen explains “you begin to be aware of everything you are saying. You are moving your bracelet far less frequently because you are very careful when you speak.”
As you hit this stage, don’t worry if you struggle for words, or don’t know how to replace habitual complaining with something else. Periods of silence are typical as you transition to less negative language. Lean into the silence, he suggests, and keep marking your progress.
The final stage is Unconscious Competence. This is when you have literally rewired your brain such that you naturally show up Complaint Free. “You will find that your mind no longer produces the deluge of unhappy thoughts you used to live with. Because you are not speaking them, you have no outlet for them, and the complaint factory in your mind closes down.”
There are four stages to building competence in any area, notes Bowen. “In becoming a complaint-free person, you will go through each of them and, sorry, you can’t skip steps.”
The first stage is Unconscious Incompetence, in which we aren’t even aware of the change we need to make or the skill we lack. Basically, we have no idea about how often we complain. Bowen notes that, ironically, many of the purple-bracelet requests he receives come from people in this stage. “Please send me purple bracelets right away,” they write. “Everybody I know complains all the time.”
This stage is followed by Conscious Incompetence, in which we become uncomfortably aware (conscious) of just how often we complain (are incompetent). And, trust me, it’s a lot more often than you think. I consider myself a pretty positive person, and I was shocked at just how much I complained during the first several days of the Challenge. Most people give up during this phase because they feel overwhelmed, writes Bowen. He counsels readers to remember that failing is inevitable at first, but it will get easier, and the payoff is worth the effort.
The next stage is Conscious Competence. Here, Bowen explains “you begin to be aware of everything you are saying. You are moving your bracelet far less frequently because you are very careful when you speak.”
As you hit this stage, don’t worry if you struggle for words, or don’t know how to replace habitual complaining with something else. Periods of silence are typical as you transition to less negative language. Lean into the silence, he suggests, and keep marking your progress.
The final stage is Unconscious Competence. This is when you have literally rewired your brain such that you naturally show up Complaint Free. “You will find that your mind no longer produces the deluge of unhappy thoughts you used to live with. Because you are not speaking them, you have no outlet for them, and the complaint factory in your mind closes down.”
Action Step: Invest the months it takes to develop the skill of complaint-free living, promises Bowen, and you’ll find that “you are a different person . . . a happier person.” And you’ll be joining millions of others who are committed to creating a happier, complaint-free world. I am taking the challenge and it is producing fruit in my life.
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