Ephesians 5:22-30 (NKJV) Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, The Gottman Institute, one of the secular leaders in marriage research, discovered that couples in which men are emotionally intelligent, listen to their wives, and allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce.
Gottman says that the number one thing that women are looking for in a man is not a six-figure bank account or six-pack abs. The number one thing women look for is trustworthiness. Trustworthiness does not simply mean martial fidelity in the strict sense though that is essential to trustworthiness. It is also much more than that. Trustworthiness means doing what you say you are going to do. It is about reliability & accountability.
Throughout human history, a woman’s safety and sense of inner well-being, as well as that of her children, have been dependent on her partner’s trustworthiness. Gottman: “Fathers are the most critical factor in the health and success of children. When fathers are not involved with their kids, there’s a five times greater likelihood that the kids will live in poverty, a three times greater likelihood that they will fail in school, and a two times greater likelihood that they will have emotional and behavioral problems, use drugs, get involved in crime, or commit suicide. You can see why trustworthiness is such a high value.”
Today we look at the #2 thing that women need: She wants and needs your sacrifice 5:25-27
Men, we have to admit, we’re pretty selfish, aren’t we? And our wives know this and they are helping us be more giving and serving. (Jeff Foxworthy video “women training men)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.”
Notice how the Holy Spirit led Paul to write this. Husbands, love your wives. There is the command. How did Jesus love the church? He gave Himself for her, for us. How did He give Himself for us? He allowed Himself to be bothered, burdened, beaten, and eventually bludgeoned to death on a Roman cross. Romans 5:8 amplifies: “But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!”
Gentlemen, this is how we love our wives: we sacrifice for them. We take the lead in being bothered & burdened. We take the lead in the sacrifice department. I have never had a woman come to me yet who was contemplating divorce and say, “My husband loves me too much! He won’t stop serving me! Make him stop! I can’t take it any more!”
Guys, stop insisting on things being your way. Stop demanding she conform her desires to yours. Stop meeting your needs 1st. Look for ways to fulfill her needs. Defer to her desires. Every woman wants to know her man will give himself for her.
Gottman says that the number one thing that women are looking for in a man is not a six-figure bank account or six-pack abs. The number one thing women look for is trustworthiness. Trustworthiness does not simply mean martial fidelity in the strict sense though that is essential to trustworthiness. It is also much more than that. Trustworthiness means doing what you say you are going to do. It is about reliability & accountability.
Throughout human history, a woman’s safety and sense of inner well-being, as well as that of her children, have been dependent on her partner’s trustworthiness. Gottman: “Fathers are the most critical factor in the health and success of children. When fathers are not involved with their kids, there’s a five times greater likelihood that the kids will live in poverty, a three times greater likelihood that they will fail in school, and a two times greater likelihood that they will have emotional and behavioral problems, use drugs, get involved in crime, or commit suicide. You can see why trustworthiness is such a high value.”
Today we look at the #2 thing that women need: She wants and needs your sacrifice 5:25-27
Men, we have to admit, we’re pretty selfish, aren’t we? And our wives know this and they are helping us be more giving and serving. (Jeff Foxworthy video “women training men)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.”
Notice how the Holy Spirit led Paul to write this. Husbands, love your wives. There is the command. How did Jesus love the church? He gave Himself for her, for us. How did He give Himself for us? He allowed Himself to be bothered, burdened, beaten, and eventually bludgeoned to death on a Roman cross. Romans 5:8 amplifies: “But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!”
Gentlemen, this is how we love our wives: we sacrifice for them. We take the lead in being bothered & burdened. We take the lead in the sacrifice department. I have never had a woman come to me yet who was contemplating divorce and say, “My husband loves me too much! He won’t stop serving me! Make him stop! I can’t take it any more!”
Guys, stop insisting on things being your way. Stop demanding she conform her desires to yours. Stop meeting your needs 1st. Look for ways to fulfill her needs. Defer to her desires. Every woman wants to know her man will give himself for her.
Come on women, don't leave me out here by myself. What do you want from your man?
Come on register today. I have some new sessions that will help you both fall in love with one another all over again.
Just click here to register: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/marriage-seminar-2018-tickets-40111994054
I will be signing my new book. Some lucky couple will get their free copy. "Moments that Matter" is also available on Kindle as well as Amazon.
You can click her to get your copy now: https://www.amazon.com/Moments-That-Matter-Marriage-Devotional-ebook/dp/B079K6KVG4/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1517963419&sr=1-1&keywords=Moments+that+Matter
Just click here to register: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/marriage-seminar-2018-tickets-40111994054
I will be signing my new book. Some lucky couple will get their free copy. "Moments that Matter" is also available on Kindle as well as Amazon.
You can click her to get your copy now: https://www.amazon.com/Moments-That-Matter-Marriage-Devotional-ebook/dp/B079K6KVG4/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1517963419&sr=1-1&keywords=Moments+that+Matter
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