Esther chose to identify with her spiritual dad and her people, what a great woman. She chose not to self-preserve but preserve her nation. Who we choose to identify with truly matters. Do you sit at the table with people who are constantly talking about what they like and dislike? Or are you sitting at the table with people who are going without what they want so others can get what they need?
See that is "Purpose over Preference".
The father defined her situation and she listened. Regardless of our age we need a spiritual father in our life. We can have many teachers but few fathers.
Esther 4:12-14 "12 So Hathach gave Esther’s message to Mordecai. 13 This was Mordecai’s reply to Esther: “Do you think you will escape there in the palace when all other Jews are killed? 14 If you keep quiet at a time like this, God will deliver the Jews from some other source, but you and your relatives will die; what’s more, who can say but that God has brought you into the palace for just such a time as this?”
A king's heart can be covered with rage like King David’s was, but a wise woman can bring the best out of the king. That is exactly what Abigail did. She took care of others by speaking to the King, then God took care of her foolish husband. (Read 1 Samuel 25 for the entire story)
Process is not always pretty but it is profitable.
Joseph was processed.
Daniel was processed.
God positioned them like He did Esther.
He will position you.
We can be afflicted in Potiphar’s house and still rise to the palace. We can be afflicted in the desert and still be a deliverer.
God has a leadership program.
His program grooms our character so we can be promoted.
Relating to the King of Hearts is a character thing not a gender thing. It makes no difference if you are male or female, what matters is are you willing to put God's purposes over your preferences? If so, you too will win the King of Hearts favor.